America got two things right: Cars and freedom. Just the history is a bit off.

“What I like the best about this beer is the taste,” he says. “It’s not, like, smooth. It’s not drinkable. But that’s what is good about it. When you drink it down your throat, it gives you a good feeling, like George Washington is actually going down your throat to fight the Brits and the Redcoats and Indians.”

What’s more American than an awkward Car Dealer commercial?

Actually, credit is the ultimate expression of being an American. Cue the Credit Pimp. I wonder if he’s still around.

Happy 4th everyone.