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There are days when you feel dead inside. The sky is not blue, the grass not green, everything is just grey. Instead of running in the morning, you are just dragging yourself from point A to B.

Just another day.

On these days you have two choices: Listen to yourself and start to change things. Numb yourself and continue on the current path.

Something was missing.

In the beginning I didn’t know what it was. There was a happy family, a house, a career. Still, something was missing. A code to a special door I forgot or never knew about. It felt like a constipation to my system. A blockage that kept me from moving freely. You could forget about the blockage for a moment but next morning it was still there.

The only time the blockage cleared was away from my home. When the whole day was not planned until the last 5 minutes before I fell asleep. When there were new experiences just a stroll away. Being outside of my comfort zone made me feel alive.

More importantly, I missed being scared of my own courage. The feeling when I moved with 2 suitcases to Los Angeles from Germany. When I put my law degree in a folder and started as a Junior Copywriter with almost no pay. The moments before the first marathon.

The world was calling

Making the final decision was filled with anxiety. But life is always filled with that dreadful feeling. At least, mine is. Anxiety is the door to a new world. Once you put the key in, unlock the door and open it, the doorway opens itself up to you. But you need to find the key and open the damn door.

The day when the door will open is almost here. The three of us will leave Los Angeles April 4. My daughter has her last day in school April 3 and will be home/world-schooled for as long as it takes. My wife has her last day at work March 31 and will take life as it comes for as long as it takes. And I will continue to work from any place our travel will take us. I love what I’m doing and the people I’m doing it for. This is not about changing everything in my life and starting all over.

This is about making sure there is no more grey in my soul when I wake up in the morning. The grey that keeps me awake while everybody is sleeping.